Everyone who comes to San Miguel searches for that which will make then unique. Most find it in an art class, or in a new household item to wear, or in a good work or in Fabrica Aurora but a few are lost until the Bilingual Gang gets them. It happens one day while sitting in the Jardin, deliberately overhearing conversations, when all of a sudden an expat begins speaking in tongues. Given the age of most residents of San Miguel they believe it the beginning of a stroke until the expat speaks English again. They ask if the expat is okay and soon learn that the expat was speaking Spanish. The line “How did you learn to speak Spanish” is all the opening a member of the Translator/Guide Gang needs to start the recruitment process.
Immerse Group vs Warren Hardy
Recruits are sorted into two groups depending on how willing you are to give up talking in English. Those who can’t give up English are put in The Warren Hardy Group . There is already a post on this group. If you can give up English for the length of a class then you are put in The Immerse Group and begin your transition to Translator and Guide.
Taking Spanish Classes
Taking Spanish Classes (TSC) becomes a lifetime activity for this group. There are over 3000 language schools in San Miguel that cater to this group and to Tourists who come to San Miguel to Learn Spanish. Many members take the same course over and over and never realize that it is the same course. They marvel at the ability of Mexican children who seem to learn Spanish effortlessly but one day THE MOMENT occurs when they read their First Sign in Spanish and Translate it for a friend.
They are so proud to say “No, you must go this way. I can read Spanish signs.” So begins the new role of translator
Translation Services
This sign, that was hanging over the door to the Instituto Allende has kindly been translated by a Level 1 Warren Hardy graduate. The words sabado and domingo are the names of the people who own the Instituto Allende and don’t need to be translated.
Translating for the Maid
Life now has purpose. No trip outside of San Miguel will occur without having on board The Translator. The Translator will be brought home to talk to the maid about some new duty she will have to perform. Maids gather daily in Gringo Free Zones to trade stories of what The Translators have said to them. One was told the she needed to wash the baby cow every day, another that she had to stop standing on the bed and another to cook more weeds. Maids love the panicked look on the Translator’s face when they ask a question back in front of their employer and eagerly await the Translator’s response.
Employer: John ask Maria where she put my yellow hat?
Translator: Maria where did you put your employer’s blue hand?
Maria: Are you sure it wasn’t her dog’s toy?
Translator to Employer: She wants to know what you want for dinner tonight
Employer: Tell her I want that Mexican thing with beans and beef wrapped in that tortoise shell
Translater: Maria can you walk two beers and take a photo of the garbage
Maria: Si Si Senor.
Translating Menus
Another role for the Translator is translating menus in restaurants without English Menus. This can be a minefield as one wrong translation and a plate of organs can undo years of Spanish lessons. So most translators choose two authentic restaurants, order everything on the menu and then write down on a piece of paper what it was. eg No. 3 beans, beef, with salad. When asked where to eat some authentic Mexican food they recommend one of the two restaurants but say “You know there is no English Menu.” That will elicit an invitation to dinner and the evening is spent translating the menu. “I think you would like number 5.”
One day, in the Jardin, they will be called over and hear the magic words that justifies moving to San Miguel “Oh ask John, he speaks Spanish”.
Bilingual Children
Liberty in a comment has identified a group you can find in San Miguel – Bilingual Children. My son has already done a great entry on Multilingual Children on his site Stuff White People Like explaining how these people come to be through design. But there are people born into families where they learn two languages. (In North America we call them Immigrants). These people scare residents of San Miguel because they speak English like a native and Spanish like a native. They have power and are often hired into a Bienes Raices where they can do much damage.
Filed under: Language Gangs | Tagged: Translator/Guide Gang
Dios mío… ¡qué horror!
Make a little effort, for gods’ sake!!!
True story – A friend’s parents came to San Miguel by bus from the US a few years ago. The parents mentioned that the bus stopped and they were able to get something to eat while in that town. The daughter said, “Oh what was the town?” The parents answered, “Salida”! So help me, it’s true – I was there and we all choked to keep from laughing…….too cute!
I love the concept of lost words. My cousin and her husband while driving to the city with friends had this long conversation about a movie that no one could remember the name of or the names of any of the actors. “You know that actress with the blonde hair”. Surprisingly you can have a conversation without certain nouns. An older friend in San Miguel told me that she speaks Spanish but doesn’t use any verbs or the infinitive and does just fine, riding local buses and talking to people. Perhaps the two of you could get together have a complete conversation.
I have now entered that certain age when I try speaking Spanish, I often have to ask the Mexican to whom I am speaking: “Oh, I can’t remember what it’s called. What’s the English word for that thing you drive on the road and fill with gas?” — all to bemused wonder that I simply do not work for the United Nations facilitating communication and world peace. If the United States comes up missing Arizona, it will probably be another one of my lost noun moments. Thank you for these posts.
When my son was living here with us, he had to walk across the plaza grande on his way home. Occasionally, he would stop and help the bewildered tourist (I think he stopped for pretty young touristas most often). They would compliment him on his English, at first, he would explain that he is an American. That lead to too many questions so after awhile, he would just shrug and say, I studied in the US (yeah, like from pre-school until high school). When he found that still lead to questions he finally changed to “Thank you, I learned it in school”. I still think the young girls got the answers that lead to more conversation.
Your blog makes me laugh, I love it. Oh, you should check out my post entitled “I’ll just pick it up while I’m there.” http://theresainmerida.blogspot.com/2008/07/ill-just-pick-it-up-while-im-there.html
regards,
Theresa
hahahaha…oh greatness.
However, you forgot an extremely important factor. Bilinguals who are BORN that way. For example the children and grand children of expats. They look American, feel American, even smell American (Or Canadian, or European of some kind)…but when they start talking, it sounds more Mexican than tacos.
You are an evil, evil man and I so do LOVE you. I am on the floor (once again) laughing. Muchos (muchas?) gracias, senor.