My friends in San Miguel are always terrified that a picture of them will appear on my blog, capturing them at a moment they would like to forget. I honour their friendship by not making them subjects of posts, however, when a friend dies you want to honour their uniqueness – the quality that made them a friend in the first place.
Joe Stiffler was one of those friends who died, yesterday, in San Miguel. I met Joe at party and he was interesting, fun and colourful from the get go.
Joe Stiffler
Joe always wore clothes like those in the picture – bright colours and those great big dark glasses and a permanent tan. He used to say that his full time job was getting a tan.
This picture was taken at a roof pouring party for Joe’s new house that was one street up from where we lived.
He had style.
He had opinions.
He was unique.
I will miss not having him one street up next year.
I was told that he didn’t go for a heart transplant as he felt someone with a family would need it more. That is selflessness of a kind I wish I had.
Also read Babs of San Miguel on Joe and his big house warming party last week.
His good friend Billie Mercer had a wonderful post on what made us all so smile about Joe and his ways.
Since the original post, I have had several wonderful emails and comments from his family giving me even more insight to how adored this man was and how kind Joe was and in particular to his mother Lois and family. He left a lot of good Karma behind. But there was a wicked side to Joe too, such as the reason he told a Computer Store salesperson in Houston, for buying a computer. That twinkle in his eye always told you that something interesting would soon be said.
I had an email from a younger cousin of Joe’s. To him, Joe was a model of sophistication in Montana and Wyoming. He said that Joe reminded him of the Silva Thin Man for the old cigarette ads and sent me this picture.
Joe - The Silva Thin Man
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Dear friends and family of Joe,
just to share a memory of Joe from his Paris days. A group of us were invited to a private concert at the ritz one December evening. Joe walked in with our friend Madeleine, looking very elegant. The pianist started to play summertime, and in the middle of the song, this woman stood up and started to sing. She was an over botoxed, has been, washed up opera diva with the most horrible voice. I was trying to keep a straight face, until I glanced over at Joe who made the most comical grimace. I burst out laughing and had to excuse myself from the room. The situation was hilarious, and Joe, as always, was himself. I will miss him!
It warms my heart to see al the tributes to Joe. And I’m happy to know his friends in Paris were informed of his passing. I met some of them here in San Miguel and they were delightful and colorful – just like JOE!
I knew Joe in Paris, and came out three times to see him in his beloved San Miguel.
I also remember ringing him from Australia to wish him a Happy New Year 2009, and he was so damned excited as no one had ever rung from Australia to wish him Happy New Year before!
Joe was very colorful, in every sense of the word, and also a HAPPY soul. People here in Paris are stunned by his passing, but you know what? Every one here agrees that when you think of Joe, you either laugh or smile.
So what better way to leave us… and what better way to have lived.
I met Joe in Paris some years ago when he used to commute between Paris & Mexico. He became such a good friend and I visited him in San Miguel two years ago. When he left Paris he left a huge Joe-shaped hole in our Paris world. I just found out from a friend that he passed away. One of the most generous lovely people I have ever met, I have some amazing memories of the things we used to get up to in Paris. He will be terribly missed.
RIP Joe. I didn’t know you well but I know how well you treated your mother, your family, and my sister Sally. You were a class act. Big personality and a colourful person. Life is a banquet and you were definitely at the feast. See you on the other side.
“Bro” Wayne Wischmann
I am Joe’s nephew and I will always remember him as the fun loving guy who wouldn’t let anybody around him be down.Joe was deeply loved by every person in our family. He was the type of guy who wanted the very best for every person he was connected to. There was never a lack of love or concern for the people he cared about . He will deeply missed by anyone who was lucky to be a part of his life!!! And i too am honored to call him my family.
And wasn’t his party last week a wonderful farewell?! We already miss him so. Billie, you are so right that the words to “My Way” are Joe’s words.
I am Joe’s niece. He was one fantastic uncle. We are all heartbroken and will miss him. I love that he was so loved and this is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful man. I am honored to call him family.
I am Susan, twin sister of Sally, the wife of Joe’s brother Wayne. Joe and I stood up for Sally and Wayne when they got married several years ago. Joe was a stylish, and elegant, relative that we enjoyed spending time with. He always had something interesting and witty to say. We didn’t see a lot of him because of his travels but we enjoyed good conversation when we did. Joe will also be rembered for his kindness. If someone needed something Joe would step in and help them out. He didn’t have to but he did. He was also a wonderful son to his mother ( Lois) and the best big brother a guy (Wayne) could have. He was one of a kind….and he is missed.
Joe was my cousin or, more accurately, my great cousin….I think. Regardless, growing up in Wyoming, he was one of the many members of my extended family to whom I looked up to. Terry and I always thought he was the coolest guy. Back in the day, we said he reminded us of the man in the cigarette commercial for “Silva Thins.” We didn’t get out much back then! Unfortunately, I lost track of Joe over the years and regret that. I hope that his brother Wayne is doing well.
How sad we are at Joe’s death. He was the brother of my sister’s husband (Wayne and Sally Stiffler of Fairfield, MT), so I have known Joe for many years and admired his style, his intelligence and commitment to his family. And as MT’s out lesbian legislator, we always had lots to talk about!!
Diane Sands
Good on Joe Stiffler, for not shoving into the heart transplant queue. What a noble decision. I wish I had known him.
How can this be? I’m going to post about him too. I thought about him all morning…….
You paint a very accurate picture of him. He lit up any space he walked into. RIP Joe Stiffler
San Miguel — and the world — was better for Joe’s presence, and his absence will definitely be missed. He was a class act, a million times over.