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This weekend October 3-5 is the Fiesta of San Miguel – the Patron Saint of this City.  Many gang members are hoping to meet Miguel sometime during the weekend as it rumored he is coming from Mexico City with his usual entourage in a Cadillac Escalade.

The most attended event is the La Alborada where former workers at Fabrica Aurora organize an early morning union meeting Mexican Style.  First is the Labour Day like parade from the former Fabrica Aurora and then a gunpowder blow up the capitalists pigs event in the Jardin.

For this La Alborada or as most Gang Members called it La Baretta either after the actor Robert Blake in Baretta or La Beretta after the gun. Some think it is called Eldorado named after their cars. Gang loyalties are suspended for this event and gangs divide into the following groups. 

Gang 1 – Newbie Fiesta Funsters

 They go down to the Jardin at 3a.m., stay for the whole extravaganza, and having seen it once will never do THAT again – too dirty and noisy for them and they already have a picture of it.

Gang 2 – One More Photo Gang

They also go to the Jardin at 3am, heavy equipment in tow (tripods, lens long enough to shoot Uranus, (the planet) multiple cameras) and “works” the event as diligently as one on assignment for National Geographic.  But alas, their thrilling fireworks shot is just like the other 122 photos currently on
Flickr (search San Miguel Fireworks).  And by Saturday morning, there will be another 1,000 posted.  These hard won fireworks photos (yawn) will be entered and re-entered in local calendar, postcard, and poster contests until something gets published.  This Gang attends The Baretta every year, rain or shine, hoping that they can get one more firecracker picture.

Gang 3 – Look but Don’t Touch Gang

Laying cozy in their beds, they awake with a start, ascend to their rooftop (possessing an unobstructed view of the Jardin), and enjoys the show with a Bloody Mary in hand.  Then descends to one of three dining rooms after, where Maria (Lupe, Teresita, fill in the blank) has breakfast waiting.  They have finessed experiencing San Miguel’s most-festive moment without ever having to be in contact with another Mexican, except of course, their house staff.  Don’t be fooled—what I have just described is a VERY upper-class Mexican way of doing things.

Gang 4 – What Was That Gang

This gang awakes in SHOCK, certain that they are experiencing the bombing of Bagdad or worse, and cower in the corner never knowing what hit them.  They have come to San Miguel without any prior research having heard that it is one of the chicest (and most-tranquil) destinations in the world, and their
gloriously expensive centro hotel with a street-view balcony has now become their WORST NIGHTMARE.  They will not get a night’s sleep for THREE days. You will see them bleary-eyed on Saturday, cluelessly inquiring—“What the hell happened last night?”  They are convinced that Sarah Palin has been able to get access to the button.

Gang 5  Skippy Does Like Noise Gang

They live here, but like some New Orleaners during Mardi Gras, they grab their sound sensitive dogs and run for the hills, leaving town until the whole biz is OVER.

Gang 6 The Stupid Tourist Gang

And then there are many who just don’t listen!  They really believe they are in Disneyland.   Yes, dear visitors, the fireworks are shot AT the crowd—directly into the Jardin.  Last year alone we saw several severely wounded and burned tourists who explained that they had heard that the fireworks are aimed into the Jardin, but they did not REALLY believe THAT.  Well, now they do.   Can this be San Miguel’s way of decreasing the population of “I’m the Expert” type of tourist? 

Credit

There is a credit for this awaiting approval from writer but I think Sarah Palin might be a bit busy to acknowledge an email