Not every tool in the shed is sharp.   The figurative tools are generally a lot sharper than the literal tools in the shed but literal tools are the most fun to use because they don’t know they aren’t very sharp.

The  literal world can be a very scary place to live as this Civil List story shows.

This post appeared January 20.

Hello everybody. There is a very friendly lion that has been living in my neighborhood for half a year. He is liked by almost everybody in Bellavista, near Malanquin, but somebody called Ecologia an he is now in danger of extinction. Ecologia is coming Wednesday or Thursday to take him away and end his life, no questions asked. I already have too many wild animals in my house (5 of them) and can not adopt a lion. If any of you would like to meet him, see the photo section. He desperately needs a loving, caring family.

For a literal person here are the key words – Lion, Ecologia, Extinction, Wild Animals, Liked by Everyone and End His Life.   The literal person does not pause to consider the intent of the poster nor if there are any spelling errors.  The words lion and wild animals leap off the page and strike terror into the literal heart but liked by everyone and end his life speak of kindness and cruelty and melt a literal heart.  The literal heart is torn between fear and love of a lion as was this kind poster.  Yes there is kindness on the Civil List

I may be interested… is he “House Trained”???

wild-life1Literal problem solving came up with this brilliant solution by linking lions to where  lions live.

Isn’t there a wild life reserve located somewhere in the near vicinity? I’m sure they would love to acquire a loving ‘wild’ animal.

Come on people, put your heads together and find a solution. If I were not 8 hours away I’d be doing the homework and making the arrangements.   PLEASE make this happen for such a beautiful helpless creature!

But there are literal others who are full of judgment as to whether lions are better off in zoos, homes or with Narcotraficantes.

I hope they find the lion a good place to live, and I sincerely hope you reconsider having wild animals as “pets”. Its not fair to them. So what if the lion gets along with everyone in the neighborhood? Trying to domesticate wild animals is an abomination against nature of the cruelest kind. I don’t think zoos are better, but hopefully the lion can be placed in a nice zoo and not with some heartless narcotraficante, for lack of better facilities.

Then the voice of reason, posts what figuratives are thinking.

Am I missing something here is there really a Lion running around?

leonThe literals start to get confused after some more problem solving.

You must have missed a thread. It is not a lion, but a small dog…I think Lion had something to do with the dog’s name.

I know…confusing…I was shocked too until I saw her cute little picture.  So, everyone can quit worrying. The recent circus did not leave a lion behind.   I went looking for the lion’s picture in the photo section. Nothing there!

Now confusion reigns.  Is it a dog named Leon or a Lion.  Some people cling to the literal despite the evidence.

You missed the email from the sender saying it was a dog named “Leon” not a lion. Not sure I believe this though.

Finally the original poster, aware of the panic caused in town, comes clean.

It has come to my attention that, unintentionally, I created some confusion among people interested in the “Lion”. My intention was to create interest in a HOMELESS DOG that lives in my neighborhood which was named LEON by the policemen that patrol the area. Please go to the photo section and look for “LION FOR ADOPTION”. I did not think people would believe a real lion was running free in a neighborhood. Oh, and my “5 wild animals” are 5 dogs.

The literal world has just fallen apart.  A cruel joke has been played upon them.  It’s all fun until someone loses a small pet to a lion.