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Dear Diary

img_2470My first day in San Miguel was so special.

I arrived at my B and B on Jesus and made three new best friends.  Sarah is a world famous journalist from Denver, Tom is a world famous brain surgeon from Paris and Tiny is a world famous graphic artist.  I kind a lied a bit and said I was a world famous ballonist.  (Well making those animals out of long balloons did sort of make me known in Peoria.)

san-miguel-magic-kingdom-copyThen I went to the Hardeen and sat for hours looking at the Magic Castle there.  I didn’t know when the parade started but in Disneyworld it starts about 5 pm so I waited.

Many people spoke to me in tongues.  Some man in a white shirt and pants was selling white shirts and dolls on string but I couldn’t understand what he was saying.  I tried to speak slowly but that didn’t help.  I kept looking for Hole A he kept talking about but couldn’t find it.  Everyone here talks about this Hole A.  The first thing they say when they see you is Hole A.  Maybe they are telling me to be careful on the cobblestones.

balloon-ladyThen some lady with balloons on a stick walked by.  I think she was trying to fly.  I watched her for a while but she never took off.  Many Mexican parents bought flying balloons for their children but none of the kids I saw ever took off.

Then a whole group of Americans set up some tables.  I wandered over to see what they were selling but it was so strange.  They were selling tickets to things for $50 or $100.  That is too expensive for me so I didn’t want them to think I was interested.

Then the most amazing thing happened.  This middle aged woman sat down beside me.  Here is the conversation as best as I could remember it

Her:   Are you new in town?

Me:    Yes I am, I just arrived?

Her:   Do you have an illness?

Me:     No I am in great shape?

Her:    Are you financially sound?

Me:     Well that is rather personal?  (I was kinda put off by that questions and the next one threw me)

Her:     Are you gay?

Me:      What kind of question is that

Her:     Well are you?  Please tell be upfront.  I have spent too much time and money on some men to later find out they were gay.

Me:   I am sorry but what do you want?  Why are you asking me all these questions?

Her:  I want a soul mate.   I am in a magical place and want to spend it with my soul mate.  I want to walk on the beach, and listen to opera and read poetry and go bird watching and have a latte at Starbucks.  Will you be my Valentine?

Me:  Lady I just got here and am not ready to be anyone’s Valentine.

Her:  Wouldn’t you like to live with me?  I have a nice house and a sweet little dog?

Me:   Whoa!  I am just sitting here on the bench waiting for the parade.  This is too much.

She got up and walked over to her girlfriends who had been watching us.  They listened to her for a minute, gave her a big hug, took out their notebook and wrote down something and then took their sweet little dogs and left.

The Parade never came.  I went to a place called Harry’s for Happy Hour and can’t remember much after that.