Everyone is talking about the Travel Advisory issued for San Miguel. Newspaper reports all talk about the State Department warning. So I decided to find the actual travel warning on the US State Department site. There is no warning listed for San Miguel. The warning was issued by the Consul General in Monterray . There is no advisory warning lists on the State Department site.
But from reading newspaper reports you would think it was a State Department Advisory.
Again the Media has not be very responsible in attributing the warning to the correct agency.
So if you found this site from googling Safety in San Miguel de Allende I need to alert you the top ten dangers in San Miguel.
Danger 10 The Bridge or Road to Mega
If you eat you will eventually have to go to Mega to buy American food staples – balsamic vinegar and Dijon Mustard.
If you go by taxi then you have no danger.
If you walk there, then you are faced with a life and death decision.
Do I walk up the stairs and along the bridge or do I dash across the road when there is a break in the traffic?
It is a choice between a heart attack and being hit by a car? It is even more fun now that they have created barriers to run across the road. It now involves jumping and running.
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Danger 9 – Buying Chicken from Pollo Feliz on Wednesday
Every Wednesday Pollo Feliz sells one and a half chickens for the price of one chicken. The line-ups are huge.
The danger is the half chicken – sometimes you get the wrong part.
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Danger 8 – The Wrong Conversation
San Miguel is a bit liberal so you must be very careful when you talk to expats. Most are Democrats and the Republicans haven’t organized themselves as of yet as they can’t seem to find each other.
So never never say you like Fox News. If you do no one will speak to you again.
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Danger 7 Walking the Streets
The sidewalks in San Miguel are about one foot wide.
Two people can not pass each other unless one steps into the street. (See Danger 4).
So when walking on the sidewalks you are constantly faced with a showdown between you and the person walking towards you. Either you go on the street or they do?
But the real danger are the telephone poles in the non World Heritage Places. The telephone poles have been buried in the World Heritage parts of San Miguel but in other places you are faced with a death defying situation
Can I squeeze through the space or must I walk on the street?
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Danger 6 -Petting Zoos or not
Many tourist believe San Miguel is a giant petting zoo.
These are not petting burros but working burros.
Touch them at your peril.
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Danger 5 – Happy Hour Downsides
Every bar and restaurant in San Miguel offers some form of Happy Hour.
There are several dangers here.
The first one is drunken seniors. Nothing is worse than a drunken granddaddy who thinks he is 21 again.
The second danger is mistaking the children’s play area in Parque Juarez and an exercise area late at night
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Danger 4 Topes and Cobblestone
Get in a taxi in a San Miguel and within minute you will hit a tope and hear your wine bottles rattling the trunk and your head hitting the top of the cab.
Never put your wine bottles in the trunk. Hug them in your lap or bring a blanket with you when you shop to wrap them in.
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The second danger here are the cobblestones.
They make San Miguel quaint but they are hell to walk on.
Everywhere you look there are fallen seniors all over the roads who have tripped on a cobblestone. Don’t pick them up as they are good warning signs.
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Danger 3 – Mistaking commonly found items for Art
San Miguel is full of artists.
A lot of art is weird.
Using commonly found objects is big here.
So this is either a urinal or an art installation.
Using it inappropriately may lead to severe consequences.
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Danger 2 – Choosing the Wrong Bench
If you come to San Miguel, then every day you sit in the Jardin on the Iron Benches for at least 2 hours.
Choose carefully where you sit as other tourists will want to talk to you.
You may experience interesting conversation or two hours of ailments and what is wrong with the world or how much magic your bench mate has experienced in the last day.
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Danger 1 – Bienes Raices
Bienes Raices means Real Estate Agents
These evil shops put pictures of house for sale in San Miguel.
Look but never, never go inside because once you do will end up buying a house in 2 days.
Do people realize this is sarcasm?
And I love San Miguel more than you put us off. From me folks, go to San Miguel and you’ll love it. I got now almost every winter day from Chicago. I LOVE IT here
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Wow, It’s almost 2019 and I still love rereading your wonder “wit”. lol
I’ve been coming to San Miguel since 1984 when my parents came here for a “vacation” and ending up buying a home and making live long changes! Best decision they ever made.
Any chance you will start writing again? Just curious.
lol lollollol
Thank you for the”warning”!
Once I stop laughing I will show this to my husband!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
There is theft aplenty. However,the Doctors are good here if anything happens.
If you have asthma,caution. No Epipens are allowed here,or even in Mexico City.
None the lest,a pretty if not very American/Canadian place to visit. Great orange
trees and orange pastries.
Where are the public restrooms?
Ellen
Yes, yes SMA dangerous, dangerous!! That’s why we tell people they shouldn’t come. But they say “you’ve been going for the past 20 years” and we say “yes but we have learned how to cope with these dangerous things and it takes a long time” You should go to the beach or somewhere else!! OMG don’t tell people how absolutely wonderful it is or we’ll be over run. Danger–Danger! Stay away.
Love your sense of humor. I LOVE San Miguel. all of the above it true and makes San Miguel comfy like your second home.
Ha, Richard, for all those gringos ready to buy in two days, you just send them to me..!
Have been going to this fabulous cultural and friendly town for twenty years. Will be returning for four month’s this year. Will be living the dream. Dining in fabulous restaurants and loving the challenge of those streets and cobblestones. My theory is let the best man win. Have experienced incredible restraint . Have not purchased a house but did come very close once. My regret is that I did not do it. Prices were great then…. So we just rent and there are so many beautiful homes out there. So, As much as I would like to keep this treasure of a town a secret I feel all that can should visit it and see what we are all talking about.
I always thought the greatest danger in SMA was getting the clap.
hahahaaha – I think you forgot the deadly SMA Canine Club virus. The dogs here will sucker you into taking them home with you, with wide eyes and sob stories like, I’m starving, I was hit by a car, I am only a 8 week old puppy and I’ve been abandoned, etc.
Fall for it and you are at great risk for being infected! Contract this virus and you will end up paying rent on a house way bigger than you need with a a master bedroom with a king sized bed for 14 spoiled rotten dogs who will eventually edge you out entirely, so that you end up in the guest room muttering, “I am not Carmen Denzel, I am not Carmen Denzel, I am not Carmen Denzel…”. (With great affection and respect for Carmen Denzel who was possibly one of the first severe cases I ever met here and of course, the gross resemblance to my own life not intended.)
Be careful out there, folks!
always best to avoid politics here.. i have lived here for 8 months (and counting) and am sure that many of my friends dont share my politics (i avoid the 68 year olds with pony tails and earings). you dont come here to talk politics. you come here to avoid talking about politics.. leave the tee shirts home…
We seem to have more of a sense of humor in Guanajuato. 😉
Those are very serious threats. Glad I live in an American City where it is extremely safe from these problems…
The biggest problem I’ve had in Latin America is neck pain from turning to look at beautiful women on the street! Aye de mi!
Love the humor and love SMA. We are traveling there in February 2016 for our 4th trip to my dream place. I am an artist, blog writer, interior designer, and published author. Please believe me, SMA is worth the trip. I would like to link your article to my blog, http://Queenstsudio.net. Please stop by for a visit.
While I do love SMA I must point out that the police are worse than the street criminals. I was forced to pay “mordita” on more than one occasion and spent most of my 60th birthday in jail for arguing with a traffic cop. This last experience almost soured me on Mexico completely.
Best place I have ever been… People friendly. Town beautiful, great restaurants and cultural events. Enough said…. Have been going there for twenty years and will spend four months there next time…. Feel blessed to have discovered this town….
You forgot to mention the Blue Door Bakery just off the Parochia. Yeah baby, grab your tongs, pizza plate and pile on the pastry.
Muy Gordo in no time at all!
Hilarious and true! I would add that San Miguel is the “City of Fallen Women” because gals go there and thing they can wear high heels or something to that effect to the detriment of their ankles.
It is also hilarious what you say about Democrats. They’re everywhere…well, at least they are the most vocal. I think folks that lean to the right (like me) simply keep our mouths shut. Nobody’s going to change someone elses predilections or political leanings. BTW I listen to Fox, CNBC, CNN, but my best news comes from abroad (BBC) or from comedy (Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, etc) most of which leans left.
Very funny, Richard, and true. I lived there for almost 9 years before moving to a small village in Chiapas, 4 years ago now. SMA is a bit like Orlando, Fla. is to the US. Fun place, but not really real Mexico. I liked your Fox News comment. I am a conservative and your dead on with that one! In general, we listen to the liberals mouth off and just go on along our way…no since fighting over issues, really.,Neither side will change their minds on them quickly. That is what makes the US great, as well, free speach and choice! Of course there are serious real dangers in SMA, but your article was not about those, really. Some of the Readers, need to lighten up…
Very Funny….Loved it.
Richard . . I think you must have some Republicans in your readership . . The ones who failed to see the humour and found the report seriously Inadequate. What about reports of extreme weather, quaint laws not permitting concealed firearms, most dangerous of all, exiting a taxi after a late night at the Peruvian restaurant (inside joke).
i love the comment from one person said, as Republicans we don’t run off at the mouth…????? Telll that to to clown car that is the GOP.
Funny, but there are dangers. If you want to get down with some real Mexico, find a person to smoke and drink with in the barrio “Cueva.” I promise you that you won’t feel 100 percent safe. I had a blast though: listening to narco music with narcos and getting way high. I’m pretty sure they were joking about killing me, but it’s all good!
Where can I purchase a Fox News T-Shirt for my trip? Maybe a Trump For President shirt will work better?
It was meant to be stupid. Guess you missed the subtlety.
Stupidest things I have read in a long time.
Hilarious and all too true. Those who stumble over cobblestones while stone cold sober are sometimes referred to as “the fallen women.” Never thought of using them as warning signals. Being approached for lengthy conversation while in the jardin is a real danger. And don’t forget — since only one person can command the sidewalk at any given time, it is good to know the protocol re: who takes the sidewalk and who takes the street. Know which way you are going.
Very clever and funny. I read all of the comments. I am always surprised when people evidence total absence of a sense of humor. I really can’t imagine living this life without one. It must be like being tone deaf at a concert. Anyway, there was a grain of truth in just about all of the above, and a grain is all you need for a giggle.
p
Hello.. the is humor not real or did you think it was real? Got ya
FIRST OF ALL, the person who wrote this article has no idea what he´s talking about.
San Miguel de Allende won the top city award. For that reason it is an exceptional, clean, and safe place where to go as a tourist. So stop searching for excuses and STOP envying Mexico’s award. San Miguel de Allende deserves it!
gave me a laugh, but why not be serious and talk about the real dangers and give some people real insight of the dangers. Its not a joke.
Terrific blog and you are right on! I live here and just to say to anonymous who considers us misfits, losers and alcoholics I have to protest – I am not an alcoholic, yet!! We consider ourselves part of a giving, loving community and living in a beautiful home, with fabulous friends and able to afford, now that we live here, travel to many parts of the world that might not have been affordable had we continued to live the overly expensive lifestyle in over populated and congested city in the USA
I’d like to add just one, well two, additional dangers of the sidewalks. I live here FT from CA, with one more year teaching before retirement (here). I adore SMA and aside from traveling the world, will always live here. ANYway, I once looked up at something while walking, bad idea. My right foot entered one of those metal boxes in the sidewalk. I fell down, hard, then bounced into the street, yes, bounced. Thankfully, no traffic at that moment. Also, beware of the stone window frames that are just about “ouch” level.
1. You left out the glorification of the mayor head shots on the bridge overpass. In fact, you left them out of everything (although in truth, I have yet to see any cobblestones fashioned with his likeness). 2. Anyone expecting to find peace and quiet whilst wearing a FoxNews T-shirt is mistaken. You will find yourself surrounded by ex-pats wanting to convert you. 3. Telephone poles are set there as an extra measure for assessing one’s squeezability following the consumption of Mx food, El Petit Four treats/Cumpanio and Mesa Grande breads/chorros … I could go on. 4. Asking a gringo’s advice is sometimes the equivalent of believing everything you read on the Civil List. 5. Bienes Raices: Bought the house during our first visit (ten days). Never a regret.
Hililarious, pithy, and true! Your writing always makes me chuckle and smile….
Luckily enough I cannot agree with any of your comments. My husband and myself found San Miguel de Allende absolutely beautiful with its interesting history, arts and architecture. We were also fortunate enough to be hosted by a highly intelligent US expat and we couldn’t have enjoyed ourselves better. I went there in particular to buy my San Miguel Shoes, since I had tried them on at a fashion show and had never worn more comfortable ones in my life and I am now absolutely excited wearing them in Australia (as they cost 10 times more in Australia). Since we had to fly to Mexico anyway for entry into Cuba, this was a justifiable excuse for me to visit this World Heritage city. Our walking tour was very informative and a bonus of it was the viewing of the incredibly colourful murals. We cannot speak highly enough of San Miguel de Allende and are eager to return in the not too distant future.
Anita and Adrian from Melbourne
nicely done. but it does seem that one would know that it’s a great joke…… maybe it’s the fox news thing, which i think is a strong selling point. we’ll be moving there ASAP.
SMA is filled with ex-pats who are losers, alcoholics and misfits who could not make it elsewhere …
SMA is filled with ex-pats who are losers, alcoholics and could not make it elsewhere!
Another danger is asking gringos advice on most anything. “What lawyer should I use?”, etc. One tsunami of conflicting yet adamant advice convinced me to just go with a roll of the dice instead.
Loved this, although you forgot to mention the danger of cougars and manthers roaming the streets. I am one of the many proud Democrats living in this lovely city.
Is this a joke?! I’ve never had any problems. As for Fox news, I have no problem saying I have no problem w/Fox. Even if you never speak to me again! The reason you don’t hear much from the Republicans is that we generally don’t run off at the mouth. Cobblestones? I just put on my boots at go! I don’t wear those “San Miguel Shoes” They’re ugly and can kill you! If you see a loose wire, just don’t touch it. OSHA is not there to save your ass! It will probably kill you if you touch it, so don’t. You guys should come to Houston! Now we’re talking danger!
I’ve enjoyed reading your work and would like to link to your blog from my website http://www.mexicoamor.com . I was laughing out loud regarding your dangers. Those sidewalks are pretty skinny, and those cobbles treacherous to the unwary. Any other advice or assistance with my new project will be appreciated.
david9@mexicoamor.com
very good stuff, thanks!
Great article! Informative and entertaining!
Loved this list…Must say, the burros adore tortillas so if you want to befriend one be sure you have a couple in your pocket!
Thanks, I’m in San Miguel at the moment and thought your comments the most sensible I’ve heard so far. My brother found your list in Toronto and sent it on to me when I’d mentioned the news. Thanks from one of the tripping tourists.
Very good article, I truly will enjoy messages of your stuff.
Great list, Richard. I think most of us would agree with these 10. I was told you can tell a resident of SMA from a visitor by the fact that they do NOT step off the sidewalk but just turn sideways! Size dependent me thinks.
hola richard, you are my new fave a SMA blogger. please send me email..say hi. i was in SM this time last year for 2 months. was to be there now save for serious accident ie, torn quads. i will return winter of 2012.
I chuckled out load re your top 10..as i can relate to 9 of them. on ‘politics ‘ and americans, have story to share re 9-11.
my web site fron a few years ago. hit on my name in red letters ‘ about us ‘ for partial bio.
peter toronto, canada
I have a cold and am having problems keeping identities straight Felipe. I also only have french accents on my keyboard.
Tancho.. please come to San Miguel and wear that T shirt. You won’t be left alone.
Thank you for the listing, it gave me an idea. I think I will order a Fox News shirt, and wear it around town, especially when I want to sit and enjoy my coffee in peace and quiet……..
Name is Felipe, señor. Felix is that cartoon cat.
Felix… of course you do and that is why it would be dangerous for you to live in San Miguel
I like Fox News.
— Felipe Zapata
Please use my new email address. Welcome back, Richard!